Navigating Easter Conflict with Assertive Communication

Easter’s nearly here—cue the hot cross buns, long lunches, and more chocolate than anyone reasonably needs. But alongside all the fun, Easter can also bring a bit of tension to the table. Family gatherings sometimes come with differing opinions, clashing parenting styles, or that one relative who just has to make a cheeky dig.

If you're keen to keep things calm (and enjoyable), assertive communication might just be your Easter superpower.

What Is Assertive Communication?

It’s all about expressing your needs, thoughts, and feelings in a way that’s clear, respectful, and confident—without tipping into aggression or falling back into passivity. Think of it as the middle ground between staying silent and steamrolling the conversation.

Here are some practical strategies to help you stay grounded and connected, even when things get heated.

1. Try “I” Statements Instead of Blame

It’s tempting to say things like “You always do this!” when you’re frustrated, but that usually just puts people on the defensive. Using “I” statements helps express your feelings without assigning blame.

Instead of: “You never help with the cooking!”Try: “I feel really overwhelmed when I’m doing all the cooking. Can we split the load?”

This opens the door to problem-solving, not power struggles.

2. Set Boundaries—Clearly and Kindly

Some topics (hello, politics or family history) can send conversations off the rails fast. Set the tone early with gentle boundaries.

Example: “We might not all agree, but I’d really love if we could just enjoy today together without diving into that stuff.”

You don’t need to be harsh—just warm, direct, and consistent. That’s often all it takes to keep things on track.

3. Pause & Check In with Yourself

Conflict often flares when we’re not aware of what we’re feeling. If you notice yourself getting tense, use a simple technique like “notice it, name it, rate it, share it.”

Tools like The Feel Wheel (below) can help you pinpoint the emotion and figure out what’s really going on underneath.

Are you feeling dismissed? Unsupported? Pressured? Once you recognise it, you’ll be in a better place to respond (not react).

Hot tip: Take a breather if you need to. A quick walk or a few deep breaths can help reset your nervous system.

4. Stay Curious, Not Combative

Instead of shutting someone down, try leaning into curiosity. Asking questions opens up the conversation and diffuses tension.

Instead of: “That’s ridiculous, I totally disagree.”

Try: “Interesting—can you tell me more about how you came to that view?”

Curiosity makes space for understanding, even when you don’t see eye to eye.

5. Know When to Let It Go

Sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is just… move on. If a conversation isn’t going anywhere useful, it’s okay to disengage gracefully.

Example: “I get that we see this differently. Let’s just enjoy the rest of the day together.”

You don’t have to win the argument to win the day.

This Easter, Choose Connection

Assertive communication isn’t about avoiding conflict—it’s about navigating it in a way that preserves your relationships. By speaking with clarity, kindness, and confidence, you can set the tone for a more connected, less stressful holiday.

Because let’s be real: you didn’t come for the family drama. You came for the laughs, the love, and maybe one more chocolate egg.

B.E. R.E.A.L.

Want to practise staying calm, clear, and kind when tensions rise?

Try our quick B.E. R.E.A.L. mini-exercise and see how you’d handle common Easter conflict scenarios—without losing your cool.

Start Survey

Want to Learn More?

We cover assertive communication (and heaps more!) in our two-day Communicate Powerfully training.

The next public programme is running on Thursday 22nd and Friday 23rd May in Tauranga, and it’s just $495+GST per person (normally $1,295+GST).

Spaces are limited to just 12 people.

Keen to join us? Email carly@communicatepowerfully.com to register or learn more.