Kia Ora Com-Power in your Pocket reader,
Ready to turn year-end stress into a superpower?
Let's dive into the world of Emotional Intelligence (EI) and make these last weeks of 2024 powerful, peaceful and purposeful!
EI in Action: Be a Mood Detective!
Our emotions are full of vital information that help us navigate life and highlight what’s most important to us. This time of the year ours and other people’s emotions can cause chaos, especially when we’re feeling frazzled, overwhelmed and under the pump tying up loose ends and last-minute work pressures.
Picture this: Your colleague snaps at you in a meeting, cutting you short and leaving you feeling more than a little put out. Instead of snapping back, and launching right on into War-Town you pause and think, "Hmm, what's really going on here?" That's EI (Emotional Intelligence) in action! It's like having X-ray vision for feelings.
Explore the Range of Emotions
The Feel wheel Challenge!
Feeling funky but can't put your finger on it? Have a play with The Feel Wheel! It's like a mood GPS. Try it now:
Close your eyes
Put your hand on your heart and ask yourself – How am I feeling right now?
Open your eyes and starting at the core emotions in the centre, play around with what captures your attention. Which emotions seems like the closest fit?
Once you’ve landed on an emotional that feels right, rate the intensity of that emotion for you right now, on a scale of 1-10. 1 would be ‘meh’, barely registering. 10 would be ‘Holy Moley’ that’s intense.
Whatever your rating – what is that telling you? What’s the information in that? If it’s a 5 or less, perhaps acknowledging it might be enough to shift it. If it’s a 6 or above, what’s the gold in this information that’s having you feel this way? Perhaps there might be a useful action to take - one that will be beneficial for you and anyone else involved?
There’s no right or wrong, it’s all just information.
Here are some keys to emotions:
There are no good or bad emotions. An emotion just is. It’s the behaviour that follows our emotions that’s either useful or un-useful.
We can experience emotions anywhere from extremely mild to intense.
Emotions are always changing.
Most of us are out of practice when it comes to noticing and identifying how we’re feeling.
And that’s ok too.
Dodge the Toxic Four!
There are four behaviours that tend to follow juicy emotions, and they love to come out and play at times of stress. These little critters are lethal to a relationship – workplace or otherwise.
Keep an eye out for; Criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling - these bad boys can crash your vibe faster than you can say "I love BBQs." But fear not! We've got the antidote. Whether you’re the giver or the receiver of these behaviours here are some ways to experience them without the toxicity.
Swap criticism for curiosity. “I wonder where they might be coming from? What’s caused this reaction?”
Trade defensiveness for deep breaths and ownership. “If there was just 2% of truth to what they’re saying – what might I learn?”
Replace contempt with respect. “I might not like this, but I can show respect for them as a…or the work they do with…”
Ditch stonewalling for a quick time-out. “What did I make that mean, and what am I afraid of here?”
And if you need it, seek help to understand your own, or someone else’s behaviour. If it’s going to be helpful.
Make Breathing your Best Bud
Stressed? Try this 60-second reset – also called box breathing. Imagine tracing the outline of a box in the air as you breathe.
Inhale for 4 counts.
Hold for 4 counts.
Exhale for 4 counts.
Repeat until you feel like a zen master,
capable of engaging in useful communication again.
Your EI Mission (please choose to accept It)
Over the next few weeks be an Emotion Ninja:
A Gift From Us
If you’re stuck for a gift idea and want something that’ll get the conversation started, and end up blowing your mind (maybe a slight exaggeration) order your copy of Below the Surface today – at www.belowthesurfacegame.com
Using the code word ‘LOCAL’ you’ll save yourself $30!
You've got the power to turn potential drama into a dance of understanding.
Let's cha-cha into the new year with love, empathy and compassion.
Catch you on the flip side, EQ Crusader.
~ Carly ~
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