top of page
group-diverse-people-with-joining-hands-teamwork_edited.jpg

Catch Your ANTs Before They Run the Show

ree

Ever notice your mood drop out of nowhere? One minute you’re fine, the next you’re irritated, frustrated, or worried, and you don’t know why?


That sneaky shift is often thanks to ANTs: Automatic Negative Thoughts - a phrase first introduced by Dr Daniel Amen.



They’re the quiet whispers in your head that say:

  • “You’re not good enough.”

  • “They’re judging you.”

  • “This always goes wrong.”


And before you know it, your whole mindset changes.


The first step? Noticing they’ve arrived.



How to Spot ANTs


The easiest place to begin is with your feelings.


If you notice you’re feeling flat, edgy, or defensive, that’s usually a sign the ANTs have crept in. They like to hide out behind emotions.


And remember, ANTs aren’t bad. They’re part of being human. It’s your brains way of trying to keep you safe. The trouble is, when it comes to building healthy relationships, those little thought-bugs don’t always do you any favours.



From ANTs to Awareness


The good news is you don’t have to let the ANTs take charge.


When you notice one, hit pause and ask yourself:

  • Am I about to contribute or contaminate?

  • Will what I say make things better or worse?

  • What’s the intention behind my words?


That tiny moment of awareness works like flicking on a light switch. Suddenly, you’ve got choice again, and choice is power.



The Power of the Pause


When the ANTs start buzzing, your first move isn’t to speak. It’s to breathe.


A pause might sound simple, but it’s powerful. It gives you space between the thought and the reaction. It’s what stops the blurting, the biting, and the boiling over.


That one small breath can shift the whole direction of a conversation.



In Conversation: What to Say Instead


When the ANTs sneak into a live conversation, it helps to have a few go-to lines ready. Try these:

  • “That’s fascinating, I remember it differently.”

  • “Do we actually need to agree on this?”

  • “What else could be true here?”


Each one takes the sting out of defensiveness and opens the door to dialogue instead of debate.


Your experiment this week: slip one of these phrases into your next tricky conversation and see what shifts. You might be surprised at how quickly the energy changes.



Practices to Try This Week

  1. The 5-5-5 Breath - Inhale for 5, hold for 5, exhale for 5. It’s like hitting reset on your nervous system in under a minute.


  2. The Post-it Trick - When an ANT shows up, jot it down. Seeing it on paper shrinks its power and gives you perspective.


  3. The Reframe Question - Ask yourself: What else might be true? This one question opens up new possibilities instead of locking you into a single story.


Want to take it further? Teach one of these practices to a friend, teammate, or family member. Sharing it out loud makes the skill stick even faster for you.



Over to You


What’s one ANT that sneaks into your day the most?


And next time you feel those ANTs marching in, remember: Breathe first. Speak second.



Final Note


At Communicate Powerfully, we teach you to:

  • Own it - notice what you’re feeling.

  • Stay curious -  ask: What just happened for me? What did I make it mean?

  • Step up - take a courageous, kind step outside your comfort zone.

  • Be REAL - respectful, engaging, assertive, and listening in your conversations.


Ready to take this further?


 
 
bottom of page